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Love Brings You Joy

Happy Valentine’s Day,

Some of us may be Boo’d up, Single Ladies, or in a Whatchamacallit that’s all fine.This is a judgment free zone. However, I am learning that the most important relationship is one that you have with You.

Photography by Oscare Merrida

If you can’t love you how are you going love someone else

Today is the day of love. Each day I’m most grateful for the people and things that spark love and joy.

Love brings joy and joy is love.

During this month I really got back to the “basics” and doing the things that I love i.e thrifting, dancing, writing, and cooking. All things that I feel are part of my #selflove. They spark love and joy.

Be sure to check out my blog post Does it Bring You Love and Joy? 

Yes, #selflove has become a big craze all over social media. However, the beauty of self love is you get to define it. You own what self love is. For some people it may be bi-weekly trips to the nail salon or weekly therapy sessions. Others may say no to obligations to enjoy time alone. Again, self love is what you make it.

Here are a few things I do to show self love

Sweater: Goodwill | Faux Moto Jacket: GoodWill|Skirt: Target|Boots: Target
  • Dance it out (create a playlist with your favorite songs and have a party for one)
  • Put on something you find sexy and strut around your house like it’s a runaway.
  • Write love letters/notes to yourself
  • Take yourself on a date
  • Have a Spa day/night at home (DIY facial, mani, and pedi)
  • Take a bath
  • Watch your favorite shows/read a book
  • Unplug from social media and phone

Choose you. You should be your first choice.

Even if you spent today with those you love or alone remember that loving you should be your first priority. Learning to love all parts of you will allow you to loving others.

Be sure to check out my blog post Does it Bring You Love and Joy? 

Life’s a journey. Show up. Be Bold. Stand out.

Tatiana I-Nise

Featured Lifestyle

4 Tips For Achieving Your Goals!

Have you ever made a New Year’s resolution that didn’t make it past January? You’re not alone.

Here we are two months into the New Year…

  • Have you started working towards your goals?
  • Are you secretly sitting at home scrolling through Instagram and see others out there “achieving & winning” meanwhile you sitting at home feeling like a failure?
  • Are you looking at the vision board you made at that vision board party and thinking “that’s cute”? Now what?

No?! Not you ?!

Well let me tell you, I been there and I’m not afraid to admit that I struggle at times.

I have goals? I can be #goals and I have what it takes right?! What am I doing wrong ?

Photography by: Oscar Merrida

Let’s be real with ourselves

We always wait for the New Year to set new weight lost goals, break bad habits, leave toxic relationships, and start that “new thing”. Then January goes by and February hits (I mean February is here) and you have fallen right back into the bad habits that you said you were leaving in the previous year. July rolls around and you have adapted the “this beach is going get whatever body I give it” attitude. Then you look up and it’s Christmas and you’re planning your “New Year’s resolution” for the next year.

Why do people make New Year resolutions ?

I think we make these resolutions because we want to feel like we are doing better in the New Year. There’s a sense of proving that you are grinding and like my favorite girl Kela Walker says I’m #bookedbusyblessed.

I believe there’s this unspoken pressure to “level up”. You should be able to recap your year with #bestofnine on Instagram and prove that your year was better than the previous year.

Last year, there was a shift in me and I felt it. I felt like I was just going through the motions of life and taken it day by day. I wanted to reach my goals but I wasn’t being proactive. My judgment was clouded by hashtags, likes, and people’s opinion. I waited for things to come to me but not eagerly chase after the things I wanted.

Yes, the first step to acceptance is admitting it.

I dropped the ball.

I waited for the feeling of newness to come to me in the new year to press restart. I looked at my vision board and became overwhelmed with ALL of my goals. With so much newness I didn’t know where to begin. So I asked myself a few questions and came up with my 4 tips.

What do I want?

Why do I want those things?

How long will it take for me to achieve my goals?

Here are my 4 tips to achieving your goals

  • Write down your vision and make it a goal 
  • Share your goal with others (someone to hold you accountable) 
  • Make it measurable (when will you achieve that goal)
  • Always remember your why 

Write down your vision and make it a goal 

“A goal without a plan is a just a dream”

I repeat this quote to myself each time “I dream”. A dream will remain a dream if you don’t make a plan to achieve it. When you have a vision it’s important to make it a goal. For example: I dream of being debt free and building generational wealth. The goal that I set for myself is I will be debt free by July 2019 by sticking to my budget.

Ask yourself what do you want and make it a goal.

Share your goal with others (someone to hold you accountable) 

I do my best when I move in silence..

Moving in silence doesn’t work when you are trying to achieve your goals. It will take a village to help you lay the foundation and build a strong base. If you want to achieve a goal you need to share it with those you love and trust. Those who love you will support and hold you accountable. I am well aware that this community may not include friends, family, or significant others. That is okay, community is what you make it! Trust me, you will be surprised when you find out who is in your corner and wants to see you win.

Make it measurable (when will you achieve that goal)

If you can’t measure it you can’t prove it

When you have a goal in mind give yourself a hard deadline. Depending on how bad you want it, give yourself 60-90 days to achieve that goal. Trust me, when you put a date next to a goal it gives you a timeframe to work with. Unfortunatley, when we don’t make a measurable goal there’s room for it to stay a dream.

Remember your why always

Your why will keep you going on days you don’t want to go

Working towards your goals will not be easy but on the days when it’s tough go back to your why.

Coat|J Crew Jean Jacket|Gap Corduroy|J Crew Sweater|J Crew Fur Stole|Target Clutch|Ross

I hope you find my 4 tips helpful. Let me know in the comments what are your goals and what do you do to crush them.

  Life’s a journey. Show up. Be Bold. Stand out.      

  Tatiana I-Nise

Fashion Featured Lifestyle

New Year=Improved me

Photography by Oscar Merrida

Details: Fur StoleYumi Kim Sultry Night Dress| YSL Pumps| J Crew Clutch

Happy New Year!!

If you are anything like me you should be in your pajamas, drinking hot chocolate, watching reruns of A Christmas Story, and blasting your favorite Holiday playlist. Tis the season they say.

There’s something about the Holidays and the ending of the year that makes most of us take inventory. It cues our brains to reflect and envision the New Year. Before I can even think about 2019, I find myself thinking about the last 12 months. If I had to give 2018 a title it would be called “transformation”.

Transformation- a thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.

I decided on this word on Christmas morning as I sat alone and sick in my apartment. Yup, you read that right sick and alone on Christmas day. Here I was at the end of a transformational year and I was alone.  I wanted to pretend like I was happy but in reality I was sad and helpless. My energy was super low and all I could do was listen to my body and “be still”.  As I laid on my couch I started to cry hysterically. You know that ugly cry with your nose running, the endless coughing, and your trying  to catch your breath at the same time? Finally, I found the strength and I yelled out to God,  “Why me? why am I alone on Christmas?  Why today? Why God?” I tried to pray but the reality was I was disappointed. What I had planned didn’t happen and what I thought wasn’t my truth. I allowed disappointment to control my day and I buried myself in my thoughts and emotions. I just wanted a Christmas do over. I was just sick and alone on Christmas. (sidebar: Check on those who are sick and alone on Holidays)

The next day, I realized I allowed one day to overpower the transformational year I had. Now, don’t get me wrong if I had a choice things would have been different. However, God continues to show me that sometimes we need a dramatic change in order for a shift to happen. I was lonely but not alone. The things I craved I had but just not in the form I expected it. A day alone opened my eyes to be more empathic and sensitive to others. It proved to me to share my own feelings of loneliness. I look back on that day and it was just an experience. I lived it and now I release it.

I thank God for the transformation in my life because it was the best unwanted gift I received.

The truth is the best gifts I received this year can’t be boxed or wrapped. I have been given kindness, love, forgiveness, support, and loyalty. All things that don’t come with a price tag.

Thank you 2018.

Life’s a journey. Show up. Be Bold. Stand out.

-Tatiana I-Nise

Fashion Featured

My Favorite Fall Booties

This Fall, I am obsessed with my emerald green satin Zara booties.  They are my new favorite statement piece. They are cute and comfortable. I nicknamed them “show stoppers”.

If you know me you know I am a frugal shopper.  Honestly, when I walk into any store I head straight to the clearance or sale rack. The way my brain is set up, I don’t even look on the main floor.  My mission is “you don’t need to spend a lot to slay”. Plus I believe in shopping on a budget.

One my new favorite places to shop is Fias Fabulous Finds. Fias is a thrift consignment shop and it’s like finding treasure each time I walk in. I saw these boots online and knew I had to have them. When I saw they were brand new and only $30, it felt like Christmas morning.

As you can see, I styled these booties with blush and soft pinks to let the green pop.

 

What’s your favorite fall item?

 

Outfit # 1

Jean Jacket: Gap|Skirt: Goodwill| Sweater:Banana Republic|Fishnet Socks:Aldo| Boots:Fias Fabulous Finds

Outfit # 2

Dress: Forever 21|T-shirt: J.Crew|Jean: Ross| Boots: Fias Fabulous Finds

 

 

 

 

Life’s a journey. Show up. Be Bold. Stand out.

Tatiana I-Nise

Fashion Featured Lifestyle

My New Normal!

Since the launch of my blog my life has been on a whirlwind. Shortly after launching, I won tickets to BlogHer Creators Summit thanks to BlackGirlsWhoBlog, attended numerous networking events, and collaborated with some amazing Boss Babes. My summer was filled with creating content and basically living my best life.

Photography – Oscar Merrida

With all the blessings coming my way and growing organically, I still had questions. The questions that plagued my mental space started with “how do I”, “when should I”, “can I”, and “what is”. I circled back to my notes from BlogHer hoping to see if I could answer my own questions. The short, simple and not so sweet answer was “no”.  Although, I didn’t have all the answers I continued being my authentic self with the intention of empowering women to journey through life in style.

A few influencers informed me about Fohr’s Freshman Class Pilot Program and encouraged me to apply. I researched and gathered more information on Fohr and their social media platform.

According to Fohr’s Freshman Class Pilot Program mission statement:

“Over the last few years, the call for more diversity in the influencer space has gotten louder and louder, and at Fohr, we want to use our platform as a leader in the space to amplify that message for more diversity and help provide opportunities for underrepresented voices. Fohr Freshman Class is a pilot program that is meant to provide mentorship, access and networking opportunities to influencers who typically have been excluded by the industry.”

 

I found myself reading the mission statement and instantly became interested in Fohr’s platform. This program was designed for micro-influencers like myself. But then that annoying and contagious thing happened, insecurity and doubt became the source of my anxiety. Should I still apply? It was the same feeling I had when I applied to 10 colleges my Senior Year in High school, applied for Grad school, applied for my job, and anything that required an application. At that point, fear won and I decided to not apply.

Initially, the easiest part of the process was being supportive of my friends who were committed to their decision to apply. Although, I was still toying with the idea, I wasn’t confident in myself. Honestly, I can’t even fathom why I was I was so nervous about it. Maybe fear of rejection? It wasn’t until the Sunday before the application was due a peace came over me. Yes, that moment when you cry your heart out to God, ask God all these questions, and hope you get an immediate answer. This was a test of my faith and opportunity to face another challenge.  I spent so much time overcoming comparison and over analyzing that I wasn’t even living out my brand’s mission statement. I’m encouraging other people to know that “life’s a journey. Show up. Be Bold. Stand out” but in that very moment I wasn’t taken my own advice. I worked so hard to get to where I am today. I had to own and accept that my journey won’t be like those around, behind, or ahead of me. The woman I am today is more confident and understands that she deserves a seat at the table.

 

If you follow me on Instagram, then you would have seen that I made it as a finalist for FOHR”s 2018 Freshman class. Yes, little me made it as a finalist. After all that internal debate, I answered every question authentically. I did what I inspire others to do, be your best self. I don’t have this “influencing” thing figured out, yet. However, as a micro influencer of color I respect and support Fohr’s initiative, for being a pioneer to help those underrepresented voices. Fohr will be selecting 10 winners to become a part of their first inaugural class. I am humbled and grateful that I made it as a finalist. The lesson in this far greater than “the prize”. Never let fear and doubt stop you because I almost did.

Outfit details 

Jacket- H&M (similar)

Skirt- thrifted (similar)

Boots- Aldo (similar)

 

Life’s a journey. Show up. Be Bold. Stand out.

-Tatiana I-Nise

Featured Lifestyle

It’s time

“I picked up my pen and created art on a page. My thoughts and dreams can’t be erased”- Tatiana I-Nise

As a child, to escape my reality I dreamed a lot. I played pretend and imagined myself being a part of a family that was a mixture of every 90’s hit (The Cosby’s, Family Matters, & the Fresh Prince). If you listened I would story tell  and make believe. Oh it didn’t stop there, I would listen to music and create music videos starring “Tatiana and my dolls.” I choreographed and became a pro at lip singing.  My  child like imagination was the birth of me becoming a creator or as my family would say “Drama Queen.”

 

It wasn’t until my 9th Birthday when my Father gifted me a red velvet notebook and fine point pen that I would begin to transcribe my thoughts. He said “here’s your weapon..write.” I did just that, I wrote. Writing became my little secret.

However, that all changed when I was in Ms. Llanot’s 4th grade class. Our end of year assignment was to write. Literally, her instructions were “write what you want and feel.”  As an educator, I now understand the importance of providing that space for children.  Listen, I can still remember how nervous I was on that day. I never shared that part of me with anyone. It was something I did behind close doors, it was my thing. Like Erykah Badu said “I am an artist and I’m sensitive about my s&*t.” Looking back I would have told that little girl  “don’t be afraid.”

Since that day I have filled composition books, journals, and my phone with my writing. When I feel inspired, I write. The other day what started off as a text message turned into a new piece.

                                                    Time

Lately the one thing that’s been popping up in my mind is TIME.

How much TIME do we really have ?

How much more TIME will we spend away from the ones we love ?

Do we waste our TIME chasing things that won’t matter a year or months from now ?

How much TIME do we waste forgetting to take care of us.

Putting yourself first.

I mean frequent check ups and ins.

Nurturing our souls and bodies like the soil of the Earth

Will TIME remain when there’s a flat line?

Come on, where’s the lie?

Are you going stand there and not chase your dreams?

When was the last TIME you let go and freed yourself from things that no longer serve you?

Will this be the last TIME you say “I cant” and say “I am “?

For some reason it feels like time isn’t on our side. I look at my watch and feel my soul shift as the clock continues to click

and tick.

Don’t waste your time ©️

 

What I’m wearing 

Dress- Asos (simliar)

Shoes- DSW (similar) (similar)

Clutch- Marshalls (similar)

Fashion Featured

Fall into Fashion

Hey Queens,

Okay, so I know the calendar says that it’s Fall but the way global warming is set up, we never know which season we’re really in. It’s October and the weather in Washington, DC is playing games.  Some days it feels like I should be wearing a maxi dress and sandals. The following week, it feels like I should be rocking a chunky sweater and thigh- high boots. The thought of this gives me anxiety, like “really Mother Nature?!”  To be real, I refuse to change out my closet until the weather is consistent . Who got time for the back and forth? On a positive note, the ball of confusion is the perfect recipe for transitional pieces.

Transitional pieces–  clothing that can interchange between seasons and carry you through that time of year when Mother Nature is being a drama Queen.

Now that we are aware that Fall is indecisive and  inconsistent.  I wanted to share a simple way to transition one of my favorite Spring/Summer piece into a Fall staple.

The KIMONO

The kimono is a trendy staple. It serves as a bathing suit coverup, cardigan, dress, jacket, and robe. For this look, I decided to tie it and wear it as a dress.  For a night time look, I can throw on a jean jacket or motto jacket. Keep it simple. Keep it chic.

 

What I am wearing

Kimono – HM (similar )

Clutch – Fias Fabulous Finds (similar)

Earrings- Marked by Mull

Shoes-  Madden Girl

 

Here are some #Pinterestinspired Kimono looks that I am in love with. Again, Fall is about transitional pieces. So don’t fret just yet some of your favorite spring and summer pieces can carry you into the Fall.

 

Featured Lifestyle

BlogHER 18: Creators Summit

Two weeks ago, I had the opportunity to attend the 5th Annual BlogHer conference in  my hometown New York City.

Since launching my blog in July one of my goals is to attend more blogger networking events. Interesting enough, a few friends started sending me the link to sign up for BlogHer. After discovering that two of my favorite bloggers ColormeCourtney  and Dayna Bolden were going to be a speaking, I knew I had to go. So with excitement and pure joy I began to register and “chile” when I got the payment portion my heart and pockets were broken, literally and figuratively. I decided to save my money and put that on my bucket list for next year.

Two weeks later, God said, “I got you,” and BlackGirlsWhoBlog posted a giveaway for 2 tickets to BlogHer. I hesitated, felt guilty, and second guessed myself all at the same time as I thought, “Why would I get picked?”   I had to remind myself to have faith and entered into the giveaway.

Fast forward, it’s my birthday week and ya girl won! “Happy Birthday to ME!” To make things better the other recipient is also a part of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Incorporated (Hey Soror) Tasha. (If you want more tea on our crazy adventure head over to her site)

I just knew God’s hand was in this because things were working out.

Day one of BlogHer

We arrived at Pier 17 and fell completely in love with the BlogHer flower wall. I mean who doesn’t love a flower wall? We wouldn’t be bloggers if we did not take advantage and have a mini photoshoot. Before we knew it, we were taken pictures for other creatives (I mean, hit them angles) and we did it with joy.

Afterwards we decided to break bread. Breakfast was sponsored by Pret and let me tell you those croissants were so delicious. I think I ate two and don’t judge me but when I closed my eyes and devoured those croissants I imagined myself eating outside a cafe in Paris.  That montage was quickly interrupted by Tasha saying, “Girl let’s go and find a seat “. Tasha became my right hand woman and accountability partner. It felt good to be with someone who shared the same passion and drive.

Day one was filled with listening to speakers like Samantha Key, the creator and founder of SheKnows Media,  Maria Forleo , and Gabrielle Union (Aunty Gabby in my mind). Although, I greatly appreciated  the wisdom and the gems that was shared, I really wanted to learn more  about bettering my craft. I felt like BlogHer was more about women’s wellness and less about a, “creators summit”.

Side note, the tea is this conference did not measure up to the success of previous years. However, when life gives you lemons…. God had me there for a reason so with grace, I networked and met some amazing women.

Day 2 of BlogHer

The highlight of my experience at BlogHer was getting the chance to meet ColormeCourtney aka Courtney Quinn, who is known for painting the streets of New York City in bright bold colors and patterns, and throwing amazing parties at colorful candy and ice cream shops.  You may have also seen her on your television screen in the Microsoft commercial.  She was a part of the Passion to Profit panel discussion and she shared genuine advice on how she became the “color” Queen. Listening to her was all I needed from this event.  In a room of many, I felt like I was sitting on the couch with her and having a conversation. She was real, pure, and direct. Here are 4 takeaways:

  1. Be your authentic self and do not comprise it for likes and follows.
  2. Produce quality content vs quantity.
  3. Do not be afraid to go against the norm. Come to the table with something different.
  4.  What do you want people to know you for? Be specific and find your niche.

Overall, my experience at BlogHer was great. If I am being transparent, I doubted the process and the event from the beginning.  Only to realize God always has my back and I not only deserved to be there, but I belonged there. I built genuine relationships with  women who dedicate their lives to empowering women. Now isn’t that amazing. I am truly grateful for BlackGirlsWhoBlog for selecting me. Thank you .

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Life’s a journey. Show up. Be Bold. Stand out.

-Tatiana I-Nise

Featured Hair & Beauty

How to Survive CURLFEST!

CURLFEST is like a combination of the Essence festival, Historical Black College University Homecoming (HBCU) Tailgate, and the annual Labor Day West Indies Parade all in one for the natural hair community. If you haven’t experience a event like the aforementioned, let me paint a picture for you. Picture  wavy, curly, kinky, and coily crowns worn by every shade of brown. Imagine New York Fashion week meets the African Diaspora. Envision every natural hair style you have seen on Pinterest or Instagram in one setting. In this sense, Curlfest is a family reunion for artist from different backgrounds and cultures.

Listen, it’s like every hashtag in one: #blackgirlmagic, #blackgirlsrock, #esscencestreestyle,#blackpeoplemagic, #hairgoals, #outfitgoals #friendgoals #festivalseason, etc

My childhood best friend and I

Charisse Higgins one of the founders of the Curly Girl Collective.

CurlFest, is one of the largest natural hair festival which is held annually in Prospect Park, Brooklyn. This was my first time at Curlfest and I just wanted to share 7 Tips on How to Survive CurlFest:

1: Grab your “curlfriends” or “festival crew”.

It’s very important that you go with people who are outgoing, social, and spontaneous.  You really don’t want to go with people who are not into festivals, large crowds, or dislike standing on long lines. Because they probably would may need to sit this one out. The truth of the matter is that vibes and moods will set the tone and determine if you will enjoy yourself.

2: Wear something Cute, Comfortable, and Casual Chic (3C’s Rule)

This event is at Prospect Park, a park where there’s grass and dirt. My girl Roni over at Style & Poise introduced me to the 3 C’s Rule. I recently adopted the 3 C’s rule when attending festivals and concerts. I opted for a off the shoulder romper, comfortable pair of gladiator sandals, a cute fanny pack to be hands free. Again, wear what you feel will make a statement but remember always be cute, comfortable, and casual chic.

3. Rock your Hair

Curlfest is the best time and place to rock your hair in a style you always wanted to try. Be BOLD. If you like me, you may want to go with a reliable twist out using Mielle Organics  products. It’s okay to play it safe and be CONFIDENT.

4: Stay Charged

For some reason, every festival or concert I have attended there has been zero service causing my phone battery to drain quickly. I learned my lesson once, so now I carry around my portable chargers with me.

5. Bring Cash

Technology some how can become a major issue when there’s a lot of people and limited service. Most vendors will accept Apple pay, Venmo, or Square,etc. To be honest, do yourself favor and just bring cash to save yourself the headache.

6. Don’t be Camera Shy

There will be plenty of photographers at Curfest wanting to capture you as their Muse. Take the pictures and don’t forget to grab their business cards, IG handle, or email, etc. Post, share, and give credit.

7. Keep an Open Mind

Don’t be judgmental. Embrace the newness and all the art that surrounds you.

Hope to see you all next year.

Life is a journey.Show up. Be bold. Stand out

Outfit details (similar): shades, earrings, romper, gladiator sandals, & fanny pack

Featured Lifestyle

You’re never too old for field trips!

Hey hey hey!!

As some of you know, I am an educator who is enjoying her summer break. Oh, summer please slow down you’re moving way too fast.  Any-who, summer break for most educators means no alarm clocks, broken routines, and adult field trips. Yes, you heard me right adult field trips. Now you’re probably thinking “Tatiana what’s an adult field trip ?” Basically trips you would normally take with your students, but this time “NO CHILDREN ALLOWED” (does Bankhead bounce).

Outside the National Building Museum

Last week, my friend dragged me to the Fun House exhibit at the National Building Museum.  I really didn’t know what to expect but I was ready to relive my childhood. As a child, my summer breaks were filled with trips to FREE museums throughout New York City. I’m not new to this, but museums are more interactive and engaging as an adult than when I was a child!

Gold and marble columns

When I walked into the museum, I was in awe of the beautiful foundation. I marveled over the gold and marble columns, the high ceilings, and the wrap around balcony. Imagining I was Beyonce at the Louvre, getting ready to study sculptures and artwork.  However, that was quickly interrupted by the sounds of little children voices and bodies running around. I gave my friend the side-eye and said to myself “what did she get me into, it’s summer.” I guess she knew what I was thinking because she just smiled at me and stated, “no worries girl we still are going to have fun.”

Tatiana standing in the entry way of the Fun House exhibit

The entrance of the Fun House.

My friend Brittany who is responsible for this “adult field trip”

Honestly, I was surprised, astonished, and entertained because I was actually having fun. As I admired the giant white house made of foam, the bathtub full of pit balls, and the giant swimming pool of pit balls.  I was excited as the children’s who were running through the exhibit. I did not care about my age or if I looked silly due to the fact that I was enjoying myself.  It was at the moment I forgot about “adulting.” All of my worries and stressors subsided and my inner child was free in her element. I did not want to grow up!

Swimming Pool of pin balls

Snow cave made out of foam

The Living room

If you haven’t visited a museum, arcade, waterpark, or an ice cream parlor as an adult, you’re missing out. I think every adult should have an “adult field trip.” An adult field trip allows you to be free from life’s demands as well as in helping you to remember what it’s like to live care free.  Honestly, it’s okay to be a big kid and give yourself permission to be free.

If you live in the DMV area or will be visiting soon, hurry over to Fun House

“Life is a journey. Show up. Be Bold. Stand out”

Love,

Tatiana

 

Outfit details

shorts- similar  top-  similar