Turns on the lights, blows dust off keyboard, and takes a deep sigh.
Hey girl Hey !
It’s been a minute since I sat down and wrote a blog post. I think 4 months to be exact. If you’re new here “Welcome” and if you been here before “Hey Queen”.
Honestly, I can list a million things that has happened to me over the last four months and 2020 to be exact. Between balancing being a pandemic teacher and trying to maintain my sanity it’s been hard. I always joke with my friends that my life is like a dramatic comedy ready to hit the big screen ( think the most dramatic Tyler Perry movie). Maybe, I’m being a drama Queen but you get the point. However, I wouldn’t trade the lessons and growing pains of 2020. So here I am here showing up the best way I know how.
We all can agree that 2020 has been one hell of a year and I just realized that in a few weeks we will be making our way into 2021. Listen, this year has felt so long. I’ve survived 9 months of a pandemic, quarantined alone, witnessed the ongoing racial and social injustices of Blacks, taught virtually, coped with anxiety/depression, got my heart broken twice, celebrated a birthday, and got a dog. Your girl is still standing and smiling most days. All thanks to the man above.
In retrospect, 2020 lived up to its symbolic meaning of clear vision of what’s to come. As much as I hate to admit it 2020 really ripped the band-aid off and forced me to heal/deal with life. Now, as a child I was taught that covering up a wound will prevent it from healing. See that’s one of those lessons you don’t get until you’re grown and experienced life.
As we prepare for the New Year and what God has ready for us I wanted to share Three Things 2020 Taught Me. I’m sure there’s so many lesson that came with this year but I narrowed down to the three that stood out the most.
God’s plan. God’s timing. God’s love
As someone who has a Type A personality I like to be in control. I’m extremely rigid, organized, and can’t sit down sometimes. However, God humbled me this year and forced me to have several seats . He reminded me that he’s the one in control. It doesn’t matter how much we try eventually we will feel exhausted because we’re trying to fight against his will. Let God be the driver of your life and enjoy the ride. If 2020 didn’t teach me anything else, it showed me how to get down on my knees and pray. As much as I hoped for certain things in this season I know it’s not my time. God loves me enough that he’s preparing me for something that’s bigger and better, that can’t be rushed. As we wait we must find the joy and trust the process.
Rest. You don’t need to be strong all the time
I think society has labeled black women as the silent heroes who always manage to save the day. Each time a problem arise there we are with our capes standing tall ready to do the hard labor. This year I realized that in order to be strong I had to put my cape down and save myself. How can I pour from an empty cup? How can I show up for others when I can barely show up for myself? It’s okay to rest and prioritize you, thats self love.
At the beginning of the pandemic I was comparing myself to others who were productive and killing the game. However, 2020 has revealed to me that being busy doesn’t equate to being productive. Being productive sometimes means unplugging so you can rest and reset.
Be your authentic self
At the end of the day, theres no one like you. When God created us he formed us to be unique and wants us to embrace who we are. Spending a lot of alone time this year has forced me to self sooth and embrace all parts of me. I can admit I spent a lot of my 20’s shrinking myself to make others feel big or allowing others’ perception of me to determine my self worth. After years of therapy and unlearning I can now embrace who I am.When you have to sit with yourself after a while you glance in the mirror and hype yourself like “You’re the ish”. As we grow and mature it’s much harder to fake the funk and be someone else so just be you. Be unapologetically you.
2020 has stretched me, tested my faith, built my confidence, and forced me to focus on what’s important. As we go into this New Year I pray that we take the lessons and experiences into 2021.
Here’s to walking confidently and boldly into 2021.