**Turns on the light and blows dusts off the keyboard**
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If you’re new here, Heyyy welcome and if you’re not…Welcome back!!
It’s been a few months but I had to find the strength and energy to write/blog again. Distance learning and teaching is exhausting. By the time I’m done making fifty eleven videos for my students and attending virtual meetings, last thing I want to do is sit in front of my laptop. I’m giving myself grace and slowly creating a routine for myself. It’s not perfect but I’m getting there.
Like most of the world, I’m at home practicing social distancing and quarantining. One thing for sure is everyone is experiencing this pandemic differently. Some of us are thriving, grieving, connecting, disconnecting, fasting, indulging, online shopping, budgeting, relaxing, working, exercising ,making Tik-Toks, wishing, dreaming, hoping and the list goes on. Truthfully, some of us are simply taken it one day at a time.
One thing I am certain of, this #newnow isn’t normal.
It’s been almost 2 months of social distancing and quarantining alone. Each day feels different but the same. I wanted to share three things I am learning to value while social distancing.
On March 13, 2020 was the last day I saw and hugged my students. I would’ve never imagined that day would be the last time I felt their hugs. I don’t think I could have mentally and emotionally prepared myself for distance learning and teaching. No amount of professional development or degrees can truly prepare for the work that you’re use to doing within a classroom. Mentally it’s exhausting. My girl Nicole of Black Girl Musing reminded me that
“Remember you’re not working from home right now. You’re at home living through a pandemic, while also trying to work.”
Wow, if that’s not the truth then I don’t what is. However, I am grateful for financial stability.
Although I have utilized FaceTime, Zoom, phone calls, and texts with family and friends. This feeling of loneliness creeps in from time to time. I am craving being around my family, friends, and just people. Not being able to touch, feel, and hold them is hard. Listen, I have even played with the idea of getting a dog. Before you start judging , before Covid (BC) I wanted a dog. Now just seems like the perfect time. Right ?! It gives me an excuse to go outside and take a bunch of cute pictures of my puppy child. If this does happen, I’m sure he or she will make his/her debut at the right time.
Overall, I realize I value connection and my love language is quality time. Time is valuable and precious. Next time, I won’t skip that brunch, day party, or family gathering.
I saw something on Instagram about if someone doesn’t check on you during this time then that person isn’t really your friend. When I read that I had mixed emotions but then I realized everyone is dealing with this differently. So you can’t take it personal. If you find yourself measuring relationships based on others availability during a pandemic, no shade that’s toxic.
However, I’ve noticed there have been some “blast from the past”, “how you been it’s been a long time”, or just bored individuals trying to make and form connection. Again, I had to ask myself will these relationships be healthy for me during a pandemic and beyond? There’s nothing wrong with reconnecting but I had to remind myself that
If the relationships around me aren’t moving me towards purpose or helping me grow than I don’t want it
I don’t want the feeling of loneliness to push me into relationships that aren’t meaningful. This is the standard for all my relationships.
Before Covid I was eating healthy, working out, attending therapy sessions, monthly facials, getting manicure and pedicures, and waxes. In my mind this was the ultimate self-care. However, I think we can all agree that these things are a gift and privilege.
Now we’re at home fulfilling these services ourselves, waiting for the world to open back up.
Yes, I have waxed my entire body, did my eyebrows and upper lip, and manicure/pedicure. Look, I’m at home alone but I feel sexy and confident now. The silver lining is I can actually do some of these things right at home and save my coins.
I am grateful for health insurance. Something so small but yet big, I feel appreciative of now. Before filing my taxes, I was complaining about how expensive healthcare is but you know what I am able to see my therapist and attend virtual doctor appointments. I don’t want to take these things for granted again.
Whether you’re at alone or with family during this time. I hope and pray that you continue to find the small blessings. Continue to drink your water, eat your greens, pray, and get some vitamin D. What we are experiencing isn’t normal but it’s the new now.
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